Vocaloid Songfics
by livvykitty
Summary: Just as the title says, fics based on Vocaloid songs! Have fun reading! New chapter: World is Mine; Summary: Dave is the number one princess in the world. You better respect that.
1. Death Should Not Have Taken Thee!

**This is the first of many songfics. As always, I own nothing.**

* * *

_**Death Should Not Have Taken Thee!**_

"_King!"_

"_Wwhat now?"_

"_KELP!"_

"_Oh, wwhat do you wwant?"_

"_They-!"_

King Eridan rested his chin on his hand, looking at the guard in front of him as he lisped, "They took Princeth Feferi and won't give her back!" Eridan's eyes widened and the young king shot up on his throne.

"Wwhat of the hero…?" Eridan asked.

"Doethn't exitht." Sollux replied, sighing.

Eridan frowned, mulling over the predicament. The peoples of Skaia needed a hero, or else the game couldn't proceed! There needed to be a character for Them, the players outside the game called Sburb. Then, he snapped his fingers, his royal violet cape moving along with his realization, "No need to fear!"

Sollux perked up at this, interested. Had he already chosen? He probably chose some really high leveled guy, like The Psiichonic or Marquise Spinneret Mindfang (for the female gamers and creepy old guys). Then, his face contorted into shock as the foolish king declared, "_You'll_ be the hero!"

Well, that was a let down.

Then, Eridan began explaining the game to the gamers. Sollux got a feeling that this would be a _long_ day… "Treasure chests hold the items you need to stock on and don't forget to get many players into your party so you can fight!"

_Oh God, you must be kidding right?_

"If you need help then talk to the peasants, okay?" Eridan pushed his glasses up higher on his nose as he shot up, "There will be many bosses along the way, just beat them down!"

… _Waiit, what now?_

Eridan gave what must have been his 'royal' pose, as the sparkles flew around his face, "So boast it, and toast it, and raise all your glasses! I'm the ruler of Skaia, knoww that the fate of the wworld is in your hands!"

_Pfft, that isn't even the real reason we fight this… II'll just be fighting here for their sake. Damn, the bigger they think they are, the harder they're overthrown…_

"Fight monsters along the wway to levvel up!" Eridan announced, "And come back to the palace at any time!" _**So I can wwatch them all boww dowwn!**_

"Waiit Jutht a thecond, I didn't hear thith at enrollment!" Sollux shouted, "My paid vacationth…?"

"I'm sorry, wwhat vvacations?" Eridan just gave the poor troll a smug smirk, "I see none in your player info. I guess that they were DELETED!" He gave a grin and Sollux could hear the loud music. Eridan's monologue was ending.

"So noww wwe're wwaiting for the bating of the breathing and the beating of the beastly old Ultimate Boss! Let the Aspects shield you on your journey!"

* * *

"This gamer ith tho THOOPID!" Sollux cursed. How in the hell was he supposed to beat this floor boss at level 2? Not only that, but Eridan was calling out his stats as if he were blind. He could see his battle stats, thank you very much! They were right to the left of him!

He used his psiichonics, as per the gamer's command, but he was just knocked back. He panted, the rapier in his hand trembling with his fingers. Shit, all of his party had already fallen! He was flashing red…

_I knew my levels just were not enough yet… orz_

_**GAME OVER**_

Eridan put on his saddest look, walking onto the empty battlefield as the words on the screen flashed. "Sorry, but your party has been wwiped out completely, noww you're dead." He twined his fingers together, the jewels shining as he looking down at them. "Oh Gog in Heavven, wwhy? Amen…"

As the scene changed to his castle he exclaimed dramatically, "Oh! Howw could they all die? Really a shame…" He called forth Jane, gesturing to the still forms of the fallen.

"I guess I'll givve you another try…" As Sollux stood up, glaring at him, "If at first you don't succeed-!"

"Eridan!"

"That's 'my King' to you, Sol."

"Thith ith fucking crazy…"

"Eh?! Dead people havve no right to COMPLAAAAAAIN!"

Sollux then started to make his case so effectively; Terezi was surely nodding in approval somewhere, "The only itemth we get are from treasure chethth while your cathle hath all we need! Not only that, but I'm with guyth with crazy high levelth…"

"Wwell, that's pretty awwesome right?"

"Not when you're the main character!" Sollux shot back, "But then again, there ith one big problem. I'm theriouth here, our ruler ith a HUGE MORON."

Eridan, while offended, ignored that comment in favor of sharing his sudden burst of thought, "Wwe wwouldn't be in this mess if this wweren't a game. I think that humans just like fighting battles…"

"Okay?"

"Maybe wwe need to wwork to better… wwork together?" The royal troll winced slightly.

"Jutht be utheful and tell me my thats," Sollux deadpanned, not even giving the thought one more moment in his thinkpan.

"To reach the next level, you just need to get one thousand EXP, and then you're set." He stuck his tongue childishly out at Sollux. "And maybe a backbone wwouldn't hurt you to find. Don't mess up this time!"

"What about thothe magicianth?" Sollux furrowed his eyebrows, "They usually get what you want for you."

"Wwell, Sol, you're the hero noww!" _**And I like looking dowwn at you wwhile politely bragging~**_

"All of the enemieth uthe holit. I thwear, it'th thpelling out THOOPID." Sollux raged.

Eridan gave a large yawn, "It puts a mighty King into a mighty deep sleep. Just go already!"

"Hey, I'm no hero, and I think I should add, if you want it done right, then play it yourthelf!"

Eridan brightened at the idea and grinned down at Sollux, "Is that so? Wwell then, wwe go to battle on the morrow!"

"Waiit, wha-?"

* * *

Eridan stood proudly on the front lines, rallying his men. He could already see his approval ratings skyrocketing! "The cause I demand wwe fight for is the peace of our fair nation! Let us fight on, and let the Aspects bless us!"

As the troops cheered, Sollux looked on in shock, "Waiit, wha-?!"

The monsters came and the soldiers began to fight their hardest, motivated more than ever before. Sollux couldn't help but wonder what other reasons Eridan had the army fight. Was it for the money? For the publicity? Even so, what does this "king" really rule?

The soldiers were dying around the two and Eridan's health was at red, almost as red as the flames that engulfed the screaming men. "Howw could they all be dying?! Really, a SHAME!"

As the scene flashed to the throne room and Eridan sat back on his throne, a sheepish smile on his face. "You may be thinking that I'm hiding on the throne again…"

"… _**But in the end I know I'm too weak to win…**__"_ (-_-;)3

"Dave! I can't beat this game, this is so stupid!" John whined. Dave took the controller and began typing in a code.

"L R, L R STOP and DASH and UP and TALK, B B A B, START. There you go."


	2. World is Mine

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck and I definitely don't own this OOC Dave.**

**Dave is the number one fucking princess in the world. You better respect that.**

* * *

You're name is Dave Strider and your unofficial boyfriend is late for your date! He has no clue that this is a date, has no clue of your feelings towards him, and has no clue that you want to be something more than bros. But let Hell freeze over if you won't make him fall head over heels for you!

You suddenly get a text from your Bro, one that annoys you. It's a news report.

_Hell, Norway has just frozen over._

…

You didn't mean that.

Finally, you spot him over by the fountain.

You're too cool to just call out to him like a normal person, so you look at him, hoping he notices. Nope. Five minutes later, you're bored, even if his ass is _right there_. Holy shit, it's so small you could probably hold it with one hand!

Shaking your head of these thoughts, you opt to instead stick your tongue out at him. You end up making a variety of faces at him, trying to vie for his attention as silently as possible. Because this is totally cooler than just _calling out to him and saying hi like a normal person._

Soon you wave your arms at him and he finally sees you. He turns to you with this (adorable) dorky grin and waves hi. You quickly save yourself from embarrassment by masking your flailing arms as simply waving.

You fiddle with the hem of your new shirt like some school girl from one of your bro's animes as he comes over. He should know that you picked out these new shoes just for this date. Dammit, he _better_ notice that your hair is parted on the left side instead of the right. If not, you will flip a table at home later.

This is totally masculine in every way.

Totally.

You have all the masculinity. All of it.

"So, Egderp, notice anything?" He just looks at you weirdly. He better reply with a compliment and/or an 'I love you'.

However, that seems to only be in your dreams, "Hey, you have a purse!"

"It isn't a purse." You say, "It's a male messenger bag. For irony." It's totally a purse.

"Hehe," John laughs, "So, where do you want to go?"

At least he got that right. You plop down on a park bench, ignoring how it squeaks under you (*cough*fatass*coughcough*) and telling him about this cute sweet shop not far from there. Then you proceed to list all the sweets you want, making him stare at you in amazed horror.

As you walk there, you start to daydream a little, imagining yourself in a red ball gown and John kneeling before you in white shining armor, a diamond ring in his hand matching the tiara on your head. You completely forget the real John's there. "Yeah, I do…"

"You do what?" John snaps you out of your daydream. You try to pass it off as irony.

"Nothing." He doesn't seem convinced.

John's snickering at you so you just huff again, looking to the side. He looks distracted by the window of some shop. Now's your chance to make a move! You move closer to him, standing almost shoulder to shoulder (he's a few inches taller, a fact your Bro never lets you live down). You slowly reach out for his unguarded hand, watching those elegant piano fingers as you bring your own clumsy ones to intertwine with them…

And then flashstep back about a hundred feet, face too red. You can't do it. Dammit, why can't he understand?! He turns back to you, probably confused at the burst of air as you force down the heat in your cheeks, whistling innocently as you look away. You guess he'll never understand…

It isn't long before you're at the sweet shop. You're already looking at all the pastries and cakes lined up underneath the gleaming glass. You almost forget that the adorable derp is beside you until he makes a sound of amusement. You turn to him, poker face at the ready. "What's up?"

"If you stare any longer, they all might disappear. I don't doubt that you can eat them with your mind or something!" He giggles at you and you just turn back to the pastries.

"God I hope so. Then I don't have to pay…" You aren't planning on paying. John should be paying for you! And then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot something simply _glorious_. You slowly turn to it, hands trembling. It's… It's so beautiful.

It's an entire case of apple themed deserts.

You're completely spellbound at this point. Ignoring the urge to bow down at the owner's feet and beg to live here for the rest of your life, you gravitate towards the case, mouth agape and a dramatic tear rolling down your cheek.

"Uh… Dave?" John pokes you and you slowly come back to Earth. In a daze, you wonder if the aliens probed your brain, took it out and left it for a bunch of satellites to run over. Houston, we have the most royal of princess human minds getting run over by the Space Station. It's smarter than the President or some shit like that. What will we do, commander? Bring it down to Earth so its owner can enjoy these apple pastries and die a happy man. Well, almost happy. Why not fully happy, sir? He needs his prince.

"I want everything over here. Egbert, I'm serious. _Everything_."

As John raises an eyebrow, you pay more attention to the deserts. _Soon, my pretties, you will all be mine. We'll be happily united in my stomach._

John then orders and offers to pay, even though he's wincing at the prices.

Not even half an hour later, the both of you are walking out the shop, John sulking for the loss of his money. You check the time. Shit, it's about time…

"I've got to go, Dave! See you tomorrow!" You say bye as monotonously as possible. He then does something completely spontaneous and out of character.

He licks your cheek.

As your face rapidly accommodates the temperature necessary to boil mercury, he grins and pulls back, turning away. "Hehe, maybe the frosting isn't all _that _bad." With that, he begins to run, leaving you to just stand there and blush.

_Maybe he does get it after all…_

"NO HOMO, DAVE!"

You stand corrected.

* * *

You pant as you crash on your couch. After the promised table flip and strifing with your Bro, you're beat. (The bastard wouldn't stop calling you the girl of the relationship. You're Dave fucking Strider! You are NEVER the girl.)

So, this would be the perfect time to pester John. Definitely.

Not because you _miss _him or anything.

Nope. Totally not why.

Your mind is not replaying the princess daydream. Whatever would give you that idea? Hehehehe… hehehe… hehe…

…

After that disturbing internal battle, you just send Egbert a pester. He's on! You totally did not _squeal_. That could have been anyone. Like… Lil Cal. Yeah, he's like totes a squealer. Did you really just think "totes"? What are you, some sort of valley girl? That couldn't be more gay than if you were frolicking in a field of red and blue flowers while following the dual colored rainbow and riding a sweaty blue unicorn with a broken horn.

But then again, you are a homosexual. All of the homo.

Well, that train of thought derailed faster than Rebecca Black's nonexistent career.

**TurnTechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]**

**TG: hey egderp whats up**

**TG: im just sitting around**

**EB: hey Dave! :B **

**EB: you have fun today, you kinda cleaned my allowance?**

**TG: i regret nothing**

**TG: those cakes were totally worth it**

**TG: it was like an apple dipped itself in sugary motor oil lit itself on fire and rolled around my tongue**

**TG: shit is delish**

**EB: ew! **

**EB: how can you stomach that crap?**

**TG: hey its not my fault your old man overloaded your sweet tooth center with betty crocker **

**TG: this must be why you dont like fun things **

**TG: youre like a sad white woman who never got to be a kid**

**TG: you need a desert education**

**TG: you need a desertcation**

**TG: im going to give it to you**

**TG: tomorrow**

**TG: at that shop**

**EB: /ROLLS EYES**

**EB: can't wait, Dave.**

**EB: seriously, i barely understood a word of that!**

**EB: you ramble too much.**

**TG: pfft you know you love me**

**TG: im just ironic**

**EB: see!**

**EB: you blame everything on irony.**

**EB: for a cool kid, you've got a bunch of flaws! :B**

Oh hell no! He did not just say that to you! You munch on some Doritos and take a swig of apple juice before continuing.

**TG: theyre not flaws**

**TG: theyre adorable mistakes**

Shit, you just sent that. That sounded so fucking girly. You are seriously reconsidering whether or not you're the girl of the relationship. You can't be, though!

Your mind flutters back to that daydream like a lovesick moth to the flame of irony. Your shades are no where to be seen in this fantasy, but you don't mind. John's kneeling in front of you, kissing your hand as you blush, saying, _My princess._

**EB: yeah, sure!**

**TG: jkbvbjlvbhgr8yh5qeaigh**

**EB: ?**

**EB: Dave, did you fall asleep or something?**

**EB: /DRAMATIC SIGH**

**EB: see you tomorrow then.**

* * *

Today, John's actually on time. You tap your foot impatiently as he hesitantly picks out a pudding and strawberry shortcake. Your mind wanders to the apple deserts from yesterday and the urge to steal those sweets from him is strong. But you must resist! You aren't _that_ selfish.

You both sit outside where it's nice and warm. "John, just eat the sugary confections."

"But…" John apprehensively pokes the cake, "Is it edible?"

You look at him in disbelief. Is he asking if _cake_, of all things, is edible? "Egbert, for fucks sake, you really _are_ deprived. Shove some in your mouth!"

But he's stopped paying attention to you. "Aw, aren't you a cutie!" He's cooing over a yellow salamander. You see nothing cute about it. You try to get his attention, but he's apparently totally enraptured with the lizard. It's just a lizard! He's got you by him and he's not paying attention!

The princess daydream flares up again and you're _so_ done at this point. You turn away, deciding to wander off for a bit to see if John will notice. _He probably won't. I just had to fall in love with the oblivious one, didn't I?_

Just as you're about to step out into the street, you're suddenly crushed against a chest. You struggle a bit before realizing, oh shit,_ John is holding you._ You slowly wrap your arms around him and bury your red hot face in his shoulder. Just as you were getting comfortable, he pulls away.

"Watch out, Dave, or you'll get run over!"

You stare at him in disbelief. Then, in a rash decision, you wrap your arms around his neck, put your shades up into your hair and look at him. He looks better without the offending dark glass. His breath hitches and his eyes widen.

"Hey John, I've been meaning to tell you…"

And then you smash your lips together.

After John's done being a rock, you can feel him kiss back.

Holy shit.

You're kissing John.

He's kissing back.

Your brain takes a little while to process this, which becomes easier once you both pull away and oxygen rushes to it. Even though you're blushing like a girl, you don't care. You're suddenly okay with being the girl.

"I'm your fucking princess, and you better not forget it."

* * *

**Isn't Davey just charming, folks?**


End file.
